The Myth Of Forgiveness

The definition of forgiveness is as follows: Absolution. Amnesty. Pardon. Many people in the New Age movement and in a few religions claim that for a person to heal, they must forgive. The word itself has it’s origins in religious beliefs dating back to the 12th century. I find this belief to be tainted with both ego and judgement. Who are we, in the Cosmic scheme of things, to believe that we have the authority to grant any soul Karmic absolution? To wipe the slate clean for them? Isn’t that up to the Creator? It does not factor in Karmic Law or Free Will at all. How have people come to believe that for someone to release trauma, grief, and pain, and achieve deep peace, they must focus on the choices of OTHERS, must grant OTHERS pardon, or amnesty, or absolution, to return to wholeness?

I think people often confuse forgiveness with letting go. Releasing the pain, grief, hurt. Letting go is imperative for healing. They are by no means the same thing. Letting go is an internal process. Self referented. Forgiveness is an external process, focusing on someone else. Forgiveness forces us to attempt to understand WHY someone made the choices they did. Often, that is impossible, because many choices are old soul patterns, Karmic opportunities to grow. We set people up to fail, and invite them into codependency when we ask them to come to grips with the choices some souls make, to murder, to rape, to molest children.

A word here about Karma. Karma is a concept that is very often misunderstood. It is, quite simply, the Law of Action. It is the Law of Correspondences, that for every action there is a consequence. It is about Free Will, choice, and how the soul grows or doesn’t grow, in any given mimageoment. We have eternity to do our spiritual work. The Earth Plane offers us an opportunity to do that. It is a classroom for the soul. Every thought, action, feeling, or choice is either creating or clearing Karma. The whole concept of forgiveness implies that one has the responsibility to clear the Karma another soul has created for themselves through their actions. That brings the concept of codependency to a whole new level. Accepting the souls Free Will is hard enough, when it’s your child, your spouse, your friend making self-destructive choices that we can see are going to end badly for them. Feeling responsible for their soul’s healing is a terrible burden to place on anyone.

Forgiveness as a concept has been used by many to evade taking responsibility for actions that caused pain and suffering for others. Some examples of this are: A father who walked away from his wife and children, after a series of affairs, remarried, started a new family and new life. Had no contact with his children for 10 years, contributing nothing in the way of emotional or financial support. No contact, no love, nothing. He then finds God, contacts his children, expresses no remorse for his actions, and after being held accountable by his children, SHAMES them for not forgiving him, and walks away again feeling smug and superior after causing yet more damage. An elderly woman who was raped daily as a child by her father tells me that she gets up every morning with grief and pain around her incest, and her religion tells her she has to forgive her offender. She prays as hard as she can, but has to do it again every single day of her life. No tools are given to her about healing the trauma and terror of her childhood. Just that platitude that does nothing to help her to be free of the scars on her energy body. It does not show anyone how to let go, how to become empowered, or how to be made whole. How to break our Karmic link with someone through releasing them, handing them over to Spirit, is the next step in healing.

Learning to let go shifts our focus back to where it belongs, to ourselves. Letting go is empowering. Freeing. Liberating. It has no judgement about the other person in it at all. We shouldn’t be looking at them, at what they chose to do. The Creator has endowed each human with Free Will. What someone chooses to do with that is up to them. How we choose to deal with it is up to us.

We are not defined by what has happened to us. It’s what we do with it that matters. Letting go means having the courage to feel your feelings about something, and accepting the reality of it. The truth of it. Seeing the truth about someone’s choices. That step is the hardest one, I think. A very wise Master Teacher once said “The truth shall set you free.” Seeing the truth about someone, and ACCEPTING IT, is the first step towards letting go. To reclaiming serenity and peace. Let’s face it, people are going to do what they’re going to do. Each soul is on it’s own evolutionary journey. Trying to understand WHY people choose certain actions will drive you crazy. ACCEPTING those choices without attempting to understand them allows us to release people, and move forward.

I’ve always taught that you can’t get a positive out of a negative. You can’t. It’s not possible. Forgiveness has it’s roots in judgement. Morality. What’s right, and what’s wrong. Nothing positive or healing can come out of judgement, no matter how you dress it up. But that’s religion for you, it judges everything. Letting go, on the other hand, is not looking at the other person at all. No judgement. It is happening organically, inside of the self.

I think the concept of forgiveness is rooted in codependency. That somehow our healing process is bound up with someone else’s choices, someone else’s journey, someone else’s lessons, and we can’t go free until we have granted them a pardon. That whole concept is deeply flawed. It denies Karmic Law.

Our healing journey belongs to us. We are children of God, as is everyone. Leave it up to the Creator to absolve, to pardon, it is not our place  to do that. Trust that every action is recorded in the Akashic Records. No one outruns the Karma Police. Every Soul is held accountable in the end. But not by us. Leave the job of judging and of absolution to the Creator. Be relieved of that burden. Let go, and go free into the joyful life you were always meant to have. Stay focused on your own choices, your own evolution. Live from love, and leave the rest up to Spirit.

Blessings, Judith Star-Medicine

On Being Fierce

imageI’ve always been intense. I wouldn’t know how to be any other way, even if I wanted to, which I don’t. There are professions that people who are by nature fierce are drawn to. Attorneys are warriors of spirit. Healers of all kinds are, as well. Activists, people who stand for the voiceless, who advocate for animals, the environment, children.. People who want to change the world are always fierce. They have to be.

Western culture is so interesting. It values fierceness at certain times, in certain people, but not others. It values fierceness in athletes when they are on the field, or in a ring or competition, but not in life. It values fierceness in soldiers on the field of battle but not when they get home, as if there should be an off switch for the personality trait that caused them to choose to become warriors to begin with. It values fierceness in women rarely. Women who are born fierce are told from a very early age by the culture that they should be softer, that being “feminine” means being somewhat passive. Which is really bad news for an alpha female.

In Native cultures, women are expected to be strong. I’ve always been drawn to spiritual paths where the Divine feminine is depicted as powerful, as well as loving. In Celtic mythology, the Morrigan is revered as the Goddess that protects warriors in battle. In ancient Egyptian mythology Sekhmet, called the Destroyer, is the patroness of physicians and healers, as well as the remover of obstacles and the bringer of justice, also one of my guides and teachers. Not exactly a warm and fuzzy role model.

In Shamanism, we integrate all of the parts of ourselves, using the shamanic journey, Power Animals, our Higher selves. Some of my Power Animals are gentle, Deer is one I work with daily. Deer represents gentleness and compassion. Accepting people exactly as they are in the moment. Mountain Lion is another Power Animal I call upon frequently. My Mountain Lion is female, and protects me on journeys out into the void. Fierce and fearless.

Being fierce means we live our lives in a completely authentic way. It takes courage to do that. No masks, no holding back. It means being fully present, both to the self and to the world. It means living from an open Heart. For me, it means bearing witness to the journey of others, including their fear and pain. To stand with them, no matter what.

In a culture where narcissism is a pandemic, and religious extremists are everywhere, trying to eradicate the separation of church and state, and force their beliefs on all of us, doing to us what they did to Native people as soon as they landed here, being fierce means saying no. Loudly. No, you can’t deny women reproductive rights. No, you can’t deny any human being the right to marry. No. No. No.

I always want to have the fierceness of the Eagle in my Heart. Of the Hawk soaring, wild and free. Of the Wolves, roaming, or singing to the Moon. The fierceness of my Mountain Lion, Magda, who teaches me how to stalk my Power, my Magic, and live from it. I embrace and celebrate my fierce and wild spirit, as well as that spirit in my husband, children, friends, clients. These are challenging times in the world. They call for fierce and compassionate people to stand together. Only we can save the Planet. We can. Embrace your fierceness. Joined to a compassionate, loving Heart, anything is possible. Let go of the judgements the culture has about things it doesn’t understand, and FLY.

Blessings, Judith

March Teaching of the Month

My March Teaching of the Month is up on my website. The topic I chose for this month is Self Love, something I think we all could use help with. It’s written from the perspective of Chinese Medicine Five Element Theory. I hope everyone enjoys it. The Stone I chose to accompany it is Clear Quartz.
Blessings, Judith