On Trusting Yourself

We live in a culture that seems determined to create self-doubt in so many insidious ways. We are bombarded by messages that have one purpose: to get us to question our inner compass, our wisdom, our magic, and our truth. Why? Because if we doubt ourselves, we become more easily managed. We begin to edit ourselves, trying to fit in, trying to get others to accept us. The truth is, the only one who needs to accept us is ourselves.

It can be a lonely path sometimes, living from radical self-acceptance, being authentic is something a lot of people know nothing about. If our sense of inner peace is dependent upon others understanding us, we’re not going to have a lot of inner peace. Especially if you’re different.

I’ve always been different. I’m some kind of a mutant hybrid cross, with no real niche that I fit into as a healer. I’m niche-less, lol. I’m not New Age, I’m not a western trained clinician, my magic doesn’t really have a label that is easily described. I used to have a wistfulness about that. Not so much, anymore. I’m comfortable in my own skin now, trusting the downloads of metaphysical material that I’m given. I’m comfortable with being a walker between the worlds, at home with my connection to the supernatural. Truth be told, I’m often more comfortable there, than here. Except for chocolate. This is the only dimension that has chocolate. ( I often wonder if my higher self dangled it in front of me, like bait. It worked.)

It’s not always easy to walk through a world that seems inherently hostile to magic and the miraculous. One might assume that people would welcome those things. One would be wrong. When you live outside of the box, it threatens people, and moves them out of their comfort zone. The moment that happens, people tend to fear you, and what people are afraid of, they try to invalidate, diminish, or control. What’s tragic about that, is that the comfort zone people are living in is often slowly killing them. For them to remain comfortable, they need to maintain their denial, and  their beliefs that support that unconsciousness. When they encounter one of us, one of two things happen. They can become intrigued, or they can run, screaming.

My intention as a mystic, an alchemist, as a healer, is to uplift, inspire, and to liberate people from their pain and suffering. I’m not interested in dragging anyone into a healing process who isn’t engaged in their own spiritual work. The methods and tools I use are certainly unconventional. Classical Chinese medicine, including herbs, essential oils, stones, 5 Element theory, Taoism, plus a number of indigenous culture perspectives are all woven into my approach. The most fundamental part of my work, however, is my psychic ability. I’m a hereditary psychic. I’ve been a Clairvoyant Empath from childhood, from as soon as I could talk. I began doing medical intuitive readings in my teens, accompanied by hands on healing. Seeing energy patterns was always easy for me. Those abilities were both valued and distrusted by my evangelical family, depending on what they needed.

I find this to be the case for all of us that are different. Sometimes we’re valued, and sometimes we’re too odd, too weird, too sensitive, too out there…. depending on what is needed from us. That gets old fast.

One of the only criteria I have for relationships in my life, is respect. One of my favorite quotes is “ Respect is love in action “. Spending time with Native elders when I was younger was so healing for me. One of the messages they repeated over and over again was about respect. Respect for Earth Mother, and respect for all living things. One of the things that troubles me the most about western culture, is the lack of respect and empathy shown to everything. There’s a disconnect that I don’t understand. The fastest way to end a relationship with me is to disrespect me. I’ve had enough of that in my lifetime. I choose to live from heart, and to respect all living things, and I expect the same in return. Respect is love in action.

I’m sad for all of us that live from magic, who have dedicated our lives to walking a path of service and love, that this is the way the Race Mind is. I’m sad that the lack of respect that we and Earth Mother receive is just a fact of life in this culture.  At the same time, I celebrate that we keep going, no matter what. I’ve seen Taoist Master Dr Yuen be disrespected, I’ve seen Native elders be disrespected, so this is not unique to any of us. Many of us have been put to death in previous incarnations, just for being Healers, and using our magic. My point here is that it doesn’t matter. People are going to do what they’re going to do. The only thing that matters is being true to yourself, true to your gifts, and living up to the highest and best that’s in you. If that scares people, oh, well.

I love Erin Van Vuren. I love the quote I used for this post. Keep the gold dust and magic in your blood. Never diminish yourself to make others more comfortable. It doesn’t work, anyway. Trust yourself. Trust your magic. Trust your gifts, they are lifetimes old. The culture is never going to understand what we are. How can it? We came here to teach, to heal, and to be a beacon of light in the darkness. We didn’t come to be understood, we were understood where we were. We came to illuminate. What illuminates is the heart. Shine the light of Divine love out of yourself. That’s the only thing that can change the world. Be royal as fuck. You rock. I love you all. Blessings, Rev Judith Star-Medicine