Hunter, Healer

Art by Kinuko Y. Craft

It’s important in life to keep updating how you see yourself. I’ve been many things in my life, and all of them have been accurate at a given time. I’m an incest survivor, and a survivor of domestic violence. As a child, I was prey. I was hunted by my offender. No place was safe. I was raped and tortured for years. Yet, somehow, I always remained connected to Source. I was prey in my marriage. After years of emotional and physical abuse, I walked away from my marriage and started my life over. I’m living proof that anything is possible, with enough fierceness, faith, and determination.

Sometimes I watch the news, and see some people holding forth with their opinions on women, the #MeToo movement, on domestic violence, or sexual abuse. And I’m astounded by their arrogance, and their hubris. I wonder, as I’m watching these pundits, how many of these men have taken a fist to the face? Been choked until they lost consciousness? Been spit on, dragged by the hair, been threatened with death? How many of them have known terror, from the earliest age, and have not only survived, but worked to become an advocate, a defender of the innocent? So, what do they know about courage?

For all of us who have survived the unspeakable, and have chosen to live from compassion and empathy, watching people who have no fucking idea about courage offer their opinions is an exercise in patience. So here’s what I know. I have been prey. I will never be prey again. I’m a Phoenix, risen out of the ashes. I’m a Dragon. I’m a hunter of the darkness that assaults the innocent. I am fearless, because I have survived. I’m a healer. I’m a guardian. I’m a teacher. I’m a mystic. I’m a badass bitch that suffers no fools.

I share my story, so that others beginning their journey of healing see that anything is possible. Believe in yourself. You have the light within you. You are not prey. You are the thunder, the lightning, the wind. Redefine yourself as the person that you are today: strong, free, and unafraid. Many of us have done this, and you can, too. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself the kindness and love that you didn’t get when you needed it the most. Become the badass that you have within you. Trust me, it’s in there. This is your moment. Seize it, and start over. I am with you, the Hunter. The Healer. We are one heart. Blessings, Judith