Month: October 2016

The Scorpio New Moon 10/30

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img_2058New Moons are a time of new beginnings. The Sun and Moon are conjunct in the same sign of the zodiac, at the same degree. October 30th will be the Scorpio New Moon, with both planets at 7 degrees of Scorpio, joined by Mercury, at 8 degrees of Scorpio.

Scorpio has always gotten a bad rap, in my opinion. It is a Water sign, along with Cancer and Pisces. The Water signs are seen as the emotional, feelings oriented signs, with Scorpio being the most intense. Pisces gets the dubious distinction of being the poet and dreamer of the three, ( odd), while Cancer is seen as the nurturer and nester. None of those descriptions resonate for me. I think I’m in a good position to know, given that in my horoscope I have a Pisces Sun, Scorpio Moon, and Uranus in Cancer. A less dreamy, poetic, homemaking individual you are never going to find. Intense? Oh, yeah. Let’s go with that.

This New Moon brings the focus to magic and the mystical, with the Sun, Moon, and Mercury in Scorpio forming a beautiful trine aspect to Neptune in Pisces. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, the planet that is the master alchemist. This New Moon brings us the opportunity for healing through alchemy, while adding the mysticism of Neptune, the planet of visions and love. With Mercury added, the planet of communication, affirmations and intention work are enhanced. Psychic ability is increased.

Venus and Saturn are conjunct at 14 degrees of Sagittarius on the New Moon, forming a wide square aspect to the New Moon, and Neptune. This offers an opportunity to clear some old fears ( Saturn) that are based on illusion ( Neptune). The fearless intensity of Scorpio lends itself to facing and demystifying anything.

This is an intensely magical day, with limitless opportunities for growth and healing. Magic is everywhere, if we only have the eyes to see it. State your intentions to the Universe, and bring your dreams into manifestation. The Water Element in Chinese medicine is the Kidney and Bladder meridians, which asks the question ” what do I trust? What do I have faith in?” Meditate on that, and embark on a new beginning of trust and faith. Trust in the Universe, trust in Source, but most importantly, trust in yourself, and the Divinity that resides within each of us. Release any old fears of your own intensity. Embrace all that you are. Have a wonderful day. Blessings, Judith

No More Drama

Me, at 27.

Me, at 27.

This has been a very powerful transitional time for me. I shared a few weeks ago about a death in the family. My ex husband passed away, and while it’s true that we were divorced for 28 years, I was still connected to him through my ( step) daughter from that marriage, and my grandson. I was 24 when I met my ex, and my daughter was 16. Yes, he was 21 years older than me. There was an instantaneous soul recognition between my daughter and I. We have been journeying together for 40 years. She was the major blessing that came out of that marriage.

I’ve shared over the years that I was a battered wife. I walked away from my 12 year marriage in pieces, with PTSD that caused me to wake up screaming, sweating, and shaking some nights. I want to avoid triggering anyone, so I’ll skip the gory details of my abuse. Suffice it to say, my ex was an equal opportunity offender, he beat the staff at our restaurants, the customers, anyone, when he was cycling. It was never about me, he was violent. I came close to dying.

Any woman that has survived something like this can tell you that even if you get out with your life, if you had children with that kind of person, you’re never completely free. Any abuse of them impacts you. That’s what love looks like. Watching him hurt my daughter and grandson over all of these years has been excruciating.( Especially given that at times, I was one of the few people who could reach him. ) Occasionally, over the years, I would speak to him, mostly regarding his treatment of my grandson. And he would listen, for a while.

As an Empath, I can feel anything that anyone is feeling. Marrying someone with mental illness and a personality disorder was not my wisest decision in this lifetime. I have nothing but compassion for myself, then and now. I have great love for that 24 year old woman, who never became angry, bitter, or fear-based. Yes, I experienced terror, but I believe violence induces terror. My spiritual path has been about releasing that, and teaching others to do the same. This election has been a huge trigger for me, because my ex was so much like Donald Trump: wealthy, a law unto himself, narcissistic, a bully, body shaming, and judgmental. I have great compassion for the women he has groped, shamed, and abused. I know first hand what that’s like.

The death of my ex has been surreal. On the one hand, I loved him, and have happy memories of some of our years together. On the other hand, he was not a safe person, for anyone. You never knew what he was going to do or say. I was listening to a Mary J Blige song, called “No More Drama”. The lyrics pretty much sum up how I feel right now. ” So tired, tired of all this drama. No more, no more. I wanna be free. I’m so tired, so tired.   Broken heart again, another lesson learned. Better know your friends, or else you will get burned.  No more pain ( no more pain) No more pain ( no more pain)  No drama ( no more drama in my life)  No more game ( no more game messin with my mind)  No more tears. No more fears.”

After all these years, I’m finally free, because my loved ones are free. Safe. I love the woman I am, and the spiritual choices I made. I love the woman my daughter is. I love the survivors I have worked with for over 40 years. We are fierce, we are loving, we are strong. We may carry scars from what we’ve been through, but I’m proud of those. My daughter found some photos of me from that time. My ex saved them.( I have no doubt that he loved me. ) I’m posting one of them. I was 27 in that photo. What I love about it is that it captures the essence of my spirit, I think. Strong. Fearless. Kind. And it reminds me that no matter what, bullies never win. For all of you that have had similar experiences, I send you my love. I am finally free. I wish that for you. No more drama. Wow. The best is yet to come. Blessings, Judith

Oxygen

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Art by Josephine Wall

My phone keeps ringing as clients are being triggered by the horrible things Donald Trump is saying about sexual assault, as well as by the women coming forward with their experiences of being sexually assaulted by him. The other huge trigger is the minimizing being done by the media, his surrogates, his wife, his supporters, and he, himself. This is a trigger for survivors of sexual abuse or domestic violence because this is what most of us faced in our own lives. Having someone grab you, grope you, molest you, or rape you is traumatic enough. What compounds the trauma is having the offender deny it, or worse, demean you or flip it back onto you, somehow making your violation your fault. The shame and humiliation associated with sexual assault or domestic violence is indescribable. Having these surrogates feel comfortable attacking the victims is the norm, unfortunately. That’s why I called this blog oxygen.

I’ve shared that I am an incest survivor, as well as a survivor of domestic violence. What helped me to heal from that, was my support system of powerful women friends, therapists, and daughters. Being able to speak safely about my trauma was like oxygen for me. Having people around me with the courage to bear witness to my truth, to love me, and to journey with me through the painful reclamation of my soul, one piece at a time, was a blessing more precious than there are words for. Healing from trauma is the heroes journey, and it is not for wimps. The flashbacks, the PTSD, the loss of the feeling of safety, which every one of us is entitled to, takes years to restore. Having people stand with you as you do that is essential.

I see these surrogates questioning why these women didn’t come forward sooner. Seriously? Seriously? The people asking that question have obviously never been molested. How lovely for them. They have no idea what it’s like to have your character smeared because someone is invested in protecting an offender. People have any number of reasons to protect offenders. Their financial security, preserving their own denial, their religious beliefs…. any number of reasons. A perfect example of this was evidenced in the rape trial of Brock Turner, the Stanford university student caught raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. His father wrote a letter to the judge, asking the judge for leniency, to not penalize his son ” for 20 minutes of action.” Yes, the rape of an unconscious woman, who woke up in the hospital, with pine needles, dirt, and debris in her vagina, has just been reduced to ” 20 minutes of action”. His other friends defended him by saying he had never raped THEM, so he must be an okay guy. This type of behavior by the surrogates of Donald Trump, and by Trump himself is having a terrible impact on survivors across the country. It re-traumatizes us. It’s an ugly reminder of our pasts, and why so many women remain silent about their abuse. That’s one of the things I hate the most about it. It silences the very people who need help the most. It keeps them in the shadows, afraid to get help. Afraid no one will believe them. Afraid of the public humiliation these women are being subjected to. Watching the bully win, on live tv, over and over, watching him get away with sexual assault, is mind blowing. Survivors are having nightmares, getting sick, having anxiety and panic attacks. Every therapist I know is dealing with this.

Having people you love and respect stand with you as you heal from the nightmare of sexual assault or domestic violence is a gift I have never taken for granted. It’s one of the reasons that survivors find me, as a healer. Having survived trauma myself, I can empathize with other survivors, and help them find a pathway back to wholeness, to joy, to peace. I love that quote by Jung:” I am not defined by what has happened to me. It’s what I choose to do with it that defines me.”

To all of the people being triggered by this predator, and by those defending him, my suggestion is to share and process with a safe person, someone who believes you. It helps, so much. It’s oxygen. Bring that pain out of the dark, into the sunlight of love. Release the shame. The shame belongs to the offender and his supporters, not you. It takes courage, yes. But we have that. We are amazing. We’ve survived things these predators and their defenders are too cowardly to acknowledge. We are each the Phoenix rising up out of the ashes of trauma, radiant and whole. Breathe. Love yourself. Be proud of who you are. I stand with survivors everywhere, with an open heart.  May my journey, and what I’ve survived, help someone that’s just beginning to heal. May it comfort and bless all who read it. From my heart to yours, Judith