With all the reports of sexual assault in the news, on social media, everywhere, survivors find ourselves being constantly triggered. Any survivor of sexual or physical trauma has some level of PTSD. Anything reminding you of your experience can trigger a fight or flight rush of adrenaline, leaving you nauseated and shaky. Sweating, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, or feelings of grief or rage may come up. What adds to this is the onslaught of the interviews with the enablers and deniers, the defenders of the perpetrators. This is one more huge trigger for those who have been violated, and either silenced, or attacked for speaking about it. Here are some things that we can do to help ourselves get through this.
1). Surround yourself with safe people who love and believe you. We all need a support system at times like these.
2). If you love nature, get outside for a few minutes. Breathe. Ground yourself in the moment. Connect to the trees, the sky, a pond or a river. Breathe again.
3). Hug your dog, cat, hamster, or something living that is not human. ( Sometimes we need a little break from humanity.)
4). Connect to whatever works for you in terms of your definition of “ Source” . Whether it’s God, Spirit, the Divine, connect to that feeling of Infinite love and Infinite wisdom. Feel it.
5). If you do affirmations, a good one might be “ In every moment I am surrounded and protected by Spirit. I am restored to wholeness. My Divine Blueprint can never be tampered with by anyone. It is eternally mine, created in Divine perfection. I am at peace. “ Or, “ No one can steal my serenity. My destiny is mine to create. I am a warrior. I am a Phoenix, rising from the ashes of the past. I am strong. I am proud of myself for surviving. “
6). This one is important. Stay away from narcissists right now. Don’t open yourself to people with no empathy. If your natural shields are lower than usual, avoid them like the plague. They’ll only make things worse. They can’t help it, they’re assholes. Do not get into an argument on social media with an enabler, it will retraumatize you.
7). If music helps you, as it does me, play music that inspires you, uplifts you, or makes you believe in yourself. I love Sia, “ Alive” is a great anthem. Queen’s “ We Are The Champions “ is another good one.
8). If you love rocks, like I do, then Rose Quartz to heal the heart, Smokey Quartz for grounding, Amethyst for faith and serenity.
9). Any kind of exercise, a walk, yoga, Pilates, can slow down the adrenaline storm going on in your body. Acupuncture, Acupressure, Qi Gong, Tai Qi, all of it helps. Avoid caffeine and other stimulants.
Above all, be kind to yourself. You have survived something terrible, something I would never wish on anyone, and you’re still here. Offenders are sick, evil, twisted souls that prey on the innocent. One of the hardest things, in my opinion, is to have been abused, and to see no justice carried out for the offenders. Watching them walk away whistling, while we have to rebuild our lives from the flaming wreckage they created feels spectacularly unfair. And it is. That’s true. But here’s what’s also true. We’re permanently changed by trauma, yes. Trauma peels you down to the core of who you are, and at our core is our divinity, our magic, our strength. That’s what’s true. That’s what’s real. And these fuckers will never touch that part. They have no soul. They are imposters faking their way through life. Always afraid of being found out. In the meantime, we get stronger and stronger, becoming so bright that people are going to need sunglasses just to look at us. They haven’t diminished us. Far from it. They’ve turned us into cosmic badasses that are their worst nightmare. Justice? That became our middle name. And we’re legion, an army of Healers, teachers, lawyers, activists, who have forgotten nothing. Expect us.
Remember who you are. You are love. You are light. You are fierce. I love you all. I’m proud of you. Blessings, Judith
*** Thanks to Will Cook Photography for permission to use his photos. Love you, dude.