Art by Kinuko Y. Craft

Fusion: noun. The process or result  of joining two or more things together to form a single entity.

One of the things I have discovered about surviving extreme trauma in childhood, and working with survivors of trauma for over 40 years, is one of the byproducts of that: fusion.

From a metaphysical point of view, we know that the Soul is eternal. From a quantum physics point of view, we know that time is a construct of the mind, the left brain, which understands time as linear, which it isn’t. In reality, there is no past, and no future. All times and all dimensions exist in the Eternal Now. Simultaneously. When we meditate, and quiet the mind, we step into a direct experience of this. This is the Void, or All That Is. It has no limitations. This is where we create miracles and demonstrations. This flows through every fiber of every living thing. This is the Shamans world, the Mystics world.

In Classical Chinese medicine, we see the Ethereal Soul as being held in the Liver, called the Hun. The Ethereal Soul is the repository of all of our Akashic Records, our memories and experiences over all of our incarnations. It’s somewhat like cosmic microfilm, the Record Keeper. When we die, it ascends into the light, where we will then review our choices, actions, and decisions, a process called a “ life review “. We can then choose to reincarnate to further evolve, clearing Karma. This process repeats itself over numerous incarnations.

We have all lived many, many lifetimes, with each one having different experiences and aspects of self. Each adds it’s own gifts and abilities. Each one offers the Soul a chance to grow, to evolve. Or not. A Soul has Free Will, and may choose to remain the same, go forward, or to spiral into old patterns and go backwards. There is no judgment. Each soul has eternity to do its work.

Now, let’s look at trauma, and what it does to someone, on a number of levels. For the purpose of this teaching, I’m talking about severe trauma, beatings, rape, torture, something that was life-threatening. On the physical level, trauma floods the body with adrenaline, and often results in PTSD, ( post traumatic stress disorder.) PTSD is common for survivors of abuse. It shows up on brain scans. There are multiple results from trauma. One of the most unique and powerful is fusion.

One of the things a near-death experience does, is to rip down the veil of illusion between this world, this reality, and the Void. At the moment of death, or near death, we feel our oneness with Source. We surrender into it. We are at peace. For a soul experiencing extreme violence, there comes a moment of choice, to live, or to die. Since the Soul is not bound by the physical body, it can access all aspects of itself, ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE. If it chooses to live, it can punch through space and time to reach for any gifts, strength, and any knowledge held in its Akashic Records. It is essentially reaching for another version of itself, existing in another dimension, another time, another reality. In the moment of “ almost death”, these two aspects of self FUSE. All of the gifts of both are synthesized. Let’s be clear, these are not two different Souls. These are the same Soul, one version being pulled into this incarnation by the other through direst need. There is an immediate bond, somewhat like nuclear fusion, with a complete integration of the energies of both. This generates enormous power, enabling the Soul to survive. It does, however, create a few other issues. Let’s look at those.

The version of the Soul pulled into this reality from somewhere else, ( let’s call that version Soul 2.0 ) is aware of the immediate danger existing for both versions of itself. It immediately responds to that danger, flooding the Self with courage, reassurance, and power. There is a reservoir of energy that exists now, that did not exist before. After the crisis has passed, this fusion forever changes the individual. Soul 2.0 sits in the background of the consciousness, monitoring the environment, scanning it for any danger. This can often be confused with PTSD, which it isn’t. Others can subliminally feel the power of Soul 2.0, and be somewhat uncomfortable with us because of it. We can feel “ other” to them. Different. Not normal. ( Whatever THAT is supposed to be.)

After fusion, we may not be consciously aware that we’ve changed, but may be aware of other people’s reactions to us. This may begin a process of suppression of the authentic self, in a quest for love and acceptance. The process of fusion is a supernatural one, one that Western culture has no understanding of, but one that all Indigenous cultures do understand. A person who has undergone fusion has gone through what Native people call “ Shaman Death”. It is seen as an initiation, which, when survived, is understood to add abilities and gifts to the individual that weren’t there before. The child is mentored by Elders, who understand what this is, and who nurture it and validate it. Western culture has no model for this, in fact, it is quite the opposite. Children are often shamed, and made to feel like freaks, or told that they are not seeing or experiencing what they ARE experiencing. This invalidation of self is, in my opinion, the worst type of betrayal, the worst type of abuse, because it gets internalized by the child, sometimes creating intense self- loathing or conflict. Healing that is the Heroes Journey. It is the journey home.

I was very blessed in my life to have been mentored by Merlin from my earliest childhood. My abuse began at two, and continued until my offender died when I was seven. Sparing you the gruesome details, which are unnecessary, it is enough to say that those near-death experiences resulted in a very powerful fusion that saved my life. The Soul 2.0 that joined with me in that moment is a warrior, fierce and fearless. The synthesis with Soul 1.0, the Empath, makes for a pretty interesting combination. I can move fluidly between the Empath and the Hunter, depending on the situation. I love them both. They have always been completely integrated. This allows me to teach this level of integration to others, a part of my life’s work.

Self-Love, as I see it, is about acceptance of all parts of the soul. It is about releasing the culture’s distorted ideas about reality, and restoring our spiritual birthright. What comes out of fusion is magical, mystical, and supernatural. It happens on a molecular level. A cosmic level. We have braided two different aspects of the Ethereal Soul together, so that they can evolve simultaneously, mutually supporting each other. If Western culture doesn’t understand any of this, well, so what? They are still busy blowing each other up, and wrecking the planet. Fuck. Them. Stop caring, let go of what other people think, and become who you were always meant to be: Magical, mystical, compassionate, empathic, and loving. Embrace all parts of yourself. You survived. You are a miracle. Own that, and own all that you are. Blessings, Judith

The Monthly Forecast For May

The Sun is in the sign Taurus for most of the month of May. Taurus is a Fixed Earth sign, ruled by Venus. The Earth Element in Chinese Medicine is about how we nurture ourselves and others, sympathy, empathy, mindfulness, and boundaries. Let’s look at the opportunities to cultivate those qualities that this month offers.

Saturday, May 5th, is lovely. The Sun in Taurus trines the Moon in Capricorn, both Earth signs, blending the ambition and drive of Capricorn with the fixity of purpose of Taurus. At the same time, the Moon sextiles both Neptune and Jupiter, faith and optimism. It also makes a powerful conjunction to Pluto, the alchemist. This is a very fortuitous day, with the planets aligning to invite movement forward, releasing what doesn’t serve us, with a dash of the mystical thrown in. Take advantage of it.

5/7 is interesting, with Mercury, the planet of communication and the mind, squaring Pluto. Pluto can indicate forcefulness, control, penetrating insights. Combined with the square to  Mercury, there can be a tendency to be harsh in how we language things, both to ourselves and others. Try to avoid that. Venus squares Neptune, a desire to romanticize or escape from reality through fantasy.

May 10th is very good, with the Moon in spiritual Pisces conjunct to Neptune, the Mystic. This is a wonderful day for meditation, for affirmations connecting to Divine Love. At the same time, the Moon trines Jupiter, the planet of Sacred Law, in Scorpio. Add into the affirmations “ I am always being Divinely guided and protected, and every need is met. I am one with Divine Love. I live from faith and trust.” The Moon sextiles Pluto, so we can add “ All that I need to see is now revealed to me. I make decisions with perfect clarity. I step into the unknown with the understanding that Spirit and I are the co-creators of my life. I live from magic.”

5/12 is a day to slow down, as the Moon squares both Saturn and Pluto, telling us not to push beyond our energy levels, out of a sense of responsibility for others, or fear. Rest. Tomorrow is another day. Speaking of tomorrow, wow. 5/13, Mother’s Day, is powerful, with several aspects. Both Mercury and the Moon conjunct Uranus, the planet of genius, originality, and creativity. The sky is the limit here regarding personal freedom. Move, move, move. Change. Grow.

The New Moon in Taurus on 5/15 is phenomenal. The Moon trines both Pluto and Mars. This combination is powerful and fearless. It gives thrust and momentum, as well as the belief that anything is possible. It is. Uranus leaves fiery Aries and moves into earthy and grounded Taurus today.

May 18th is also very good, with Mercury trine to Saturn, and the Moon in Cancer forming a Grand Trine to Jupiter in Scorpio and Neptune in Pisces, all Water signs. The Water Element in Chinese Medicine is the Kidney and Bladder meridians, representing faith, trust, the Void, and the supernatural and mystical. This is another fabulous day to affirm our oneness with All That Is. “ I live from radical faith and radical trust. I am upheld in all that I do. Miracles follow miracles, and I am blessed in all ways.”

The Sun moves into Gemini on 5/20. The Full Moon on 5/29, with the Sun in Gemini and the Moon in Sagittarius closes out a very high vibrational month, with Mercury moving into Gemini as well.

May is rich with possibilities for healing and growth. The key words for Taurus are “ I Have”. What do you need? What do you want to have? This month can help you manifest it. If you resonate with stones, the stones that vibrate to Taurus are the pinks and blues: Rose Quartz, Rhodonite, Agate, Blue Chalcedony, Angelite, and Celestite. Meditation with those can help. If you resonate with Essential Oils, Rose, Vetiver, Patchouli, Oak Moss, and Ylang Ylang are perfect. Diffuse them as you meditate.  I love SunRoseAromatic’s Rings Of Saturn blend, a combination of Patchouli, Ylang Ylang, Blood Orange, and Grapefruit. ( www.sunrosearomatics.com.)

May this month bring you all the love, abundance, joy, and beauty you deserve. Walk in love. Blessings, Judith

A New Family Member

It’s been five months since we lost our beloved dog Elvis. He left a big hole in our hearts, and in our home. It’s taken time for us to be ready to begin another journey with a new dog. Last week, we rescued a Mastiff/Boxer mix from our local SPCA. We named him Bosco. He is a heart with feet. He loves everyone, and is settling in beautifully. Well, except for the housebreaking part. Evidently, he’s never lived in a house. He was brought into the shelter from a situation of neglect and abandonment, they said. He’s starting to get the hang of it.

We have a 4 year old toddler living with us, our granddaughter, Miss Vivian. We waited to introduce them, giving Bosco a chance to bond with us and get comfortable. He blew us away with his gentleness with her. He was so careful, he laid down at her feet, and gave her kisses. Seeing her giggling, and him wagging and so happy just made my heart melt.

We bought him a new bed and new toys. He’s in love with his purple stuffed dragon, and trots around with it in his mouth, or sleeps with it. Bosco has figured out where the refrigerator is, what the ding of the microwave means, and can be coaxed into doing pretty much anything with Nachos. What a sweetheart. We are in love with him already. Welcome home, Bosco.