I’ve been an advocate for civil rights, women’s rights, HUMAN RIGHTS for most of my adult life. As a spiritual counselor, I’ve worked with survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence for 40 years. The statistics on domestic violence in the U.S. are staggering, over 1.2 million women are battered every year in this country. Let that number sink in. Three out of five women have been sexually abused. There are hundreds of thousands of unprocessed rape kits sitting in labs around the country. A rape kit is forensic evidence gathered at the hospital after a woman has been raped. What other crime, ( a burglary, for instance) leaves forensic evidence sitting around for years? Answer: None.
The attitude that this country has towards women is abysmal. Every woman that I know has had to put up with catcalls, disparaging comments, discrimination at work, hostility after refusing unwanted advances, or being groped or grinded on on a subway, bus, or train. Men have no idea what it feels like to live in a female body, in a culture that uses women’s bodies to sell everything from cars to toothpaste. Everywhere you look as you’re growing up, you’re bombarded by images of airbrushed scantily clad women, on magazines, billboards, newspapers, television, and movies. Trust me, you never get used to it. Young girls begin to believe that this is the norm, when their dolls have big hair, big tits, tiny waists. We give them these dolls to play with, that look nothing at all like a normal woman, at a very early age.
Men, on the other hand, are bombarded by these images in different ways. Seeing women being objectified is upsetting to some men, but is the norm for many. Movie heroes like James Bond had sexual conquests with women named “Pussy Galore”. Which brings me to my title: Grab Them By The Pussy.
Now, unless you have been sequestered for jury duty, or live under a rock, you’ve seen the news. Presidential candidate Donald Trump, wearing a microphone, comments to Billy Bush from NBC about women. The entire tape is disgusting, as he brags about his history of sexually harassing women, kissing them uninvited, trying to have sex with them. Towards the end, he says that when you’re a celebrity, you can do anything to them, you can ” grab them by the pussy”. He’s talking about sexual assault, as casually as you would discuss the weather. The fact that this man is running for the highest office in the land, and has revealed himself as a sexual predator is horrifying. His abuse of women over the course of his life has been well documented. Calling women pigs, dogs, fat slobs, ugly… All on tape.
Some have wondered how any woman gets past this and decides to vote for him. That’s actually easy to explain, in one word. Denial. Denial is a powerful protective mechanism rooted in the subconscious mind. Women that have been abused, and who have never addressed the abuse, function by not seeing abuse anywhere. A good example of that is the Duggar family, with their tv show about their huge family and fundamentalist religion. Even after it came out that the son had molested his sisters as little girls, the parents continued to deny it, his wife defended him, and most of the audience clamored to have the show continue. Until he was outed seeking sex online, and had two prostitutes accuse him of sex so rough they were afraid for their lives.
In many religions, women have historically been seen as property. She changes her name to her husband’s when she gets married. Why? The woman should be obedient. Now there’s a word that makes me want to puke. Obedient? What am I, fucking 5? Seriously? Obedient. Right. This religious indoctrination leads men to believe they have certain rights over women, and women learn pretty quickly to be slightly more passive, or more accommodating than is authentic to them. Women who refuse to play the game are labeled as bitches.
Recently, a student at Stanford university in California was raped behind a dumpster while she was unconscious, by another student, Brock Turner. He was stopped by 2 other students who saw what was happening. They restrained him and contacted the police. The jury convicted him, and he went to jail. For 6 months, with the judge taking into account that this was his first offense. Yes. And that he was an excellent swimmer. What other crime committed against anyone factors in someone’s athletic prowess? ” Well, it was his first murder, your honor. And look at those swim times.” A petition was circulated to recall the judge, with over one million signatures.
This is what rape culture looks like. Women get demeaned, denigrated, shamed, bullied, and many people look the other way. A presidential candidate can say the most disgusting things about women, ON TAPE, with no consequences. There needs to be a radical change in this country, starting now. Women need to stand up to these bullies, the cowards, these monsters posing as human. And the good men who love us need to stand with us. In a few weeks there will be an election, which will be a referendum on this country. Where do you stand? It’s very simple. You either stand with misogyny and racism, or you stand for change. I stand for women everywhere, people of color, human rights, civil rights…. And kindness, love, and compassion. And if I ever meet Donald Trump or Brock Turner, I will kick their nuts up into their throat. Totally coming from light. Blessings, Judith